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We invite your comments, questions, or suggestions. Please fill out the guestbook and let us know you were here. We appreciate your visit.

We are committed to meeting our obligations to clients. Accordingly, while we’ll be glad to receive any email, please allow substantial time for response. Aside from formal consultations, it isn’t likely that we’ll be able to help with specific advice via email. We hope Mr. de Becker’s books, The Gift of Fear, Protecting the Gift, Fear Less, and Just 2 Seconds will help answer your questions.


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Josh Sutton
Jan 25, 2017

Mr. De Becker,

I've recently finished reading your book "The Gift Of Fear" after finding reference to it in works by Rory Miller.

I work in private security and personal protection and the information you've contributed to my work, in conjunction with that of Mr. Miller, has changed so many things about the way I perceive danger not only to myself, but the people who pay me to safeguard their interests.

This was an absolutely amazing book, and one that I will visit again and again. Thank you for sharing your experience and insights.

Catherine
Dec 10, 2016

Just reading The Gift of Fear. It struck me how much America has changed. A sergeant says on page 35 'Look in all my time with the department, I've never even drawn my gun and we haven't had a shooting here for as long as I remember.' That was 1997 wasn't it. And now look at America's shooting statistics :(
Great book though, thanks!

DMG
Sep 02, 2016

I've been through a substantial amount of trauma growing up. As such, hyper alertness has been something I've never been able to shake off.

After years of therapy and going through the stages of acceptance and healing, I have to say that your book "The Gift of Fear" has been one of the most empowering books I've ever read.

Once I'd moved from victim to survivor, it felt like I was stuck. The idea that I am unable to predict or protect myself was not in my realm of reality. With this book among others I've read, I've begun the next step. Living.

Thank you very much for writing this. It's been so helpful to me and to many others that grew up under my same circumstances. It was through them (an online support group) that I discovered your book.

Many thanks.

D

Zach D
Aug 26, 2016

I cannot begin to describe how amazed I am with the quality of this company. Having no prior interaction with GDBA, other than reading through their website, I can only begin to imagine what it would be like to work for them. I am most impressed! My only regret is living outside their regions of operation.

Tirin Ratieta
Aug 10, 2015

I'm just starting "The Gift Of Fear" and I'm telling you I'm glued to it and no one would ever take the book away from me. I will take it with me everywhere I go and will keep on reading and re-reading it again and again. I'm telling my immediate family to add it to their collection and keep it nearby at all times.

How come you have no branch in Salt Lake City Utah? The Utah populace would be attracted to your mission both privately and corporately. Think about it.

Arron Williams
Aug 06, 2015

I stumbled upon your website while searching for help to escape with my children from a very unsafe, terrifying, captive relationship...in which time I realized that from the experiences that I have lived, I would be of great help to those that also are facing the same fearful hurdles in their lives. When you have lived a life of fear, terror, and under someone's control...and you learn how to free yourself (which I have not yet) you become an asset to those around you because your heart is what keeps you continuing to help others. I am excited to learn from these people, and I believe in them. Then, I find it in my heart to as well as soul desires to follow through with a career led by them as well.... what a blessing, as well as a moment of relit hope I have been given. This alone will give me the strength to think wisely today to hopefully stay safe from my abuser as well as not get cought in his crossfire of illegal and dangerous lifestyle. May God be wih us all.

Interesting
Jul 11, 2015

On a youtube video entitled "the ropes are lookin' a little frayed", before the cable snaps on the ride, you can hear several people teasing the ride-goers about how the rope on the ride was looking "a bit frayed" and collecting insurance money on them.

In one of your books you pointed out how jokey comments may signal somebody's intuition picking up on danger (that rope looks frayed) and how the warning may come through in the form of teasing.

This video seems like a classic example.

Timothy P Eicher
Apr 25, 2015

Mr. De Becker, I have been using your book Gift of Fear for almost 20 years in a course I developed at Dixie State University (formerly Dixie College) in Utah. The course is called Self-Protection for Women. It is a holistic course combining psychoeducation, emotional awareness and physical self-defense. Your book is an integral part of the course with several excercises structured from recommendations you make in the book, and I (as well as hundreds of students) are eternally grateful for your wisdom. I have retired but have continued with this course through multiple agencies, including law enforcement and a program that is a shelter for survivors of assault and domestic violence. I will be teaching the course for free with the hope that several agencies will continue the work of personal safety for community members. I wonder if your agency would consider making GOF available for our project for a reduced price. I have a textbook called Self-Protection for Women (soon to be in its 5th edition when we might change the title) that is based on a 15 week course. On behalf of tens of thousands of people I thank you for your contributions to society.

Jose Z.
Apr 23, 2015

"The Gift of Fear", what can I say about this extraordinary book. I enjoyed reading it and would recommend it to anyone and everyone. At this time, I have a niece who is going through stalking scenario as described in "The Gift of Fear"; it is a boyfriend who refuses to accept the relationship is over and they have infant son. He has stalked her, tried to isolate her from her family and friends, threaten to take, kidnap the child, if she does not get back with him, and even has gone to her work to say damaging things to her manager and fellow co-workers. Of course, she has reported it to local police who refuse to do anything unless the ex-boyfriend/ stalker does anything; he has already physically abused her. "The Gift of Fear" has helped in really seeing the signs of a stalker with the potential of committing murder.

Steve Frandsen
Mar 31, 2015

In 1996 in Anchorage, I was riding my bike in September and it was quite cool. I had a flat and my hands were too cold to undo the nut on the valve stem to change the tube. A lady picked me up in her truck, threw the bike in the back, took me to her little farm and lent me some pliers. I fixed the tire and she said "Take a look in that barn over there. I think you'll find something very interesting." The hair on my neck stood up. I begged off and rode home, a little rattled. There may have been an old Triumph motorcycle or something else cool, and I was curious but thought more likely there would be a pit, an accomplice with handcuffs or something worse. It was very unsettling.

I've since read TGOF twice and PTG and recommend them often. I left a condolence on a site to Marianne Schuett, abducted without a trace in Canada 48 years ago. Her kidnapping was a national story and it seems like Canada lost her innocence that day.
I mentioned The Gift of Fear as a precaution that may ward off another of these gruesome happenings. I hope that was alright. Credit went to Gavin de Becker.

Thank you for your valuable insights and the way you give examples that make clear what is being spoken about such as "forced teaming".

Julie
Mar 26, 2015

Wow!! Amazing book, "Gift of Fear". Curious as to how many women work for you, given our natural inclination towards instinct. Your book puts many concerns at ease. Thank you.

Mandy
Feb 27, 2015

I was recommended your book "The Gift of Fear" by a Highway Patrol officer I work. I've been telling him for a number of years what my daughter and I have been going through, and he said I should read this. He said it is one of the best books he has ever read that relates to his career. So many pages of information describing the guy that we are dealing with.

Jim
Feb 21, 2015

I love your book, thank you.

Read Your Book And This Happened To Me
Feb 18, 2015

I solidly believe that your book helped save my life.

I read your book years ago. And tucked the concepts away for future reference.

Over a decade later, I was in a situation where my intuition was providing me persistent and unexplainable signals that I was in danger. There was nothing substantial to explain this feeling. Sure, I was being harassed. But I've been harassed in the past by people without such an impending sense of dread. I wanted to make sense of the urgency and distress that I just couldn't shake. I was perplexed by my alarm: the suspects were of high reputation. They weren't thugs or criminals or even young punks. They were established members of the community with status and good credentials.

Appearing neurotic and hyper-vigilant to friends and family, I followed my “gut feeling”. I took random pictures of my environment, creating unpredictability in my schedule, and planned emergency escape routes. I even hid an audio tape to tape the suspects when I wasn't around to try and find out exactly what was going on.

Over a year later, when I finally listened to the full scope of hidden recording, I realized these “upstanding” folks had been scheming to murder me. I heard the play-by-play on exactly what was going to be done to me, the pain that I was going to suffer, and the evidence to be planted in my wake, to leave me with a legacy of ill-repute.

Now it all made sense. A rust colored “soda stain” on the carpet, bleached around the edges (to this day I believe it was blood from a previous victim) that kept catching my eye. The duct tape and abundance of cleaning fluid and heavy-duty body-sized plastic tub that, at surface level, appeared innocuous. Other items, mimicking evidence of a murder next door, details that at the time I didn't even remember reading about – but my sub-conscience remembered. Little odd cut pieces of wire lying about. Later shown on photos to have been used on hidden cameras to stalk me.

It was embarrassing to look paranoid. My fleeing the house in the middle of the night could not be explained in rational terms. Yet the latent recording revealed clues: my murder was to occur the following morning. There was no way for me to know this. Not logically.

After meeting monsters cloaked as lambs, I am more respectful to strangers. I am more aware of my environment, even if I'm walking down the street in a familiar area. I practice fitting in (gave up a luxurious eye-catching coat I liked to wear). And I never distrust “vibes”, even if I am teased or they are dismissed by my loved ones.

This was not the only circumstances where your book helped me, but it was by far the most dramatic example I have to offer. The illusion of law-abiding citizens having an entitlement to “safety” is so comforting. “The Gift of Fear” takes us out of that comfort zone, to confront the unthinkable.

Alexandra W. Sipiora
Jan 23, 2015

I am rereading "Just Two Seconds". Even though I will probably never be the target of an assassination, I have found it very relevant to women's safety. The book talks about the importance of the layout of the room for the author's safety at book signings. After I read about the importance of architecture in violence prevention, I was able to identify several buildings here in Chicago where it would be terrible for a woman to get separated from a crowd. One of the most surprising ones is the AMC Loews 600 N. Michigan 9 Movie Theatre. It is surprising because it is located on the Magnificent Mile, which is Chicago's answer to Rodeo Drive and the Champs Elysees. It is easily the most luxurious movie theater where I have ever been. It even has reclining, reserved seats. However, since it takes up the top three stories of the building, it would be very dangerous if a woman watching a late movie on the top floor got separated from the crowd. No one would hear her cries for help. That is why I would use the restroom on the first floor after the movie if I were with a date I did not know very well.
Another surprising example was the branch of LA Fitness that used to be located in the same building as Macy's. Since the locker rooms were located three stories below the ground, I always made sure I was not one of the last to leave at night.
Finally, the most dangerous building I can think of is Merchandise Mart after hours. My school's forensic psychology department is in Merchandise Mart, and I was always wary about leaving after 6 p.m., when most of the businesses closed for the night. So after my night classes, I always made sure I left with at least one other person. As Mr. de Becker said in "Protecting the Gift", rapists need privacy and control to succeed. I make a point of evaluating whether a building's architecture would make it easy or difficult for a sexual predator to obtain privacy.

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Gavin de Becker & Associates, L.P.
11684 Ventura Boulevard, Suite 440
Studio City, California 91604

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