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We invite your comments, questions, or suggestions. Please fill out the guestbook and let us know you were here. We appreciate your visit.

We are committed to meeting our obligations to clients. Accordingly, while we’ll be glad to receive any email, please allow substantial time for response. Aside from formal consultations, it isn’t likely that we’ll be able to help with specific advice via email. We hope Mr. de Becker’s books, The Gift of Fear, Protecting the Gift, Fear Less, and Just 2 Seconds will help answer your questions.


NOTE: The information and comments you submit here will be added to our guestbook below, viewable by the public.

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Amy
Sep 02, 2013

The Gift of Fear is a wonderful book. Some people can think clearly and calmly when facing a genuine threat, such as Kelly and Bill in the book. I, however, have panicked in real-life situations. There is nothing I would like more than to be able to remain clear-headed and calm so that I can be truly helpful in times of crisis. Do you have any reading or other resources to recommend to help one remain calm?

Ms. Ralonne Morss
Aug 20, 2013

Have the Gift of Fear and just finished reading it again for the 2nd time. I've shared it with my sister too. Thank you for this excellent synopsis on that to which we as humans need to paid heed - our intuition. God bless you also for funding the domestic victims hotline that allows battered women (and their children) an avenue towards safety.

Val
Aug 12, 2013

A number of years ago, I read "The Gift of Fear". Not too long after, an aquaintance of our family, asked to live with us for just a little while. I had always felt uncomfortable around him, and The Gift of Fear gave me the the courage to say NO. I still am sure that I made the right decision, and that my children were kept safe because of it. I've always wanted to say thank you.

Katie
Aug 02, 2013

The Gift of Fear has served to help me "un-train" myself out of listening to those who've relentlessly driven it into my head that my intuition/protective instincts aren't to be trusted or taken seriously. It's also much easier to break out of the detrimental confines of "acceptable" behavior expected of women now.

For some reason (ha. Welcome to patriarchy), I felt like I needed permission to protect myself.
I owe a huge thank you to Gavin de Becker for giving me that permission, along with validation, empowerment, knowledge, safety, and strength that can now stand strong in the faces of those who would seek to take it all away from me.
So...Thank you, so much, and a million times over!

Marcela Reyes
Jun 28, 2013

I just read "the gift of fear". I thank you, it has made a great impression on me. I look forward to reading your other books.

Mary Moonen, L.C.S.W.,C.A.P.
Jun 10, 2013

I have 2 of Gavin De Beckers books, "The Gift of Fear", and "Fear Less." I am a counselor assisting people recovering from various traumas, particulary working with survivors of rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence. I help teach self defense, and have taught classes to women, young girls, and people with disabilites. The book "Gift of Fear" teaches how to recognize when the internal alarm is going off, and rightfully so. It teaches how many times,people are in denial, or dismissing the subtle signals that something is wrong. As a woman, I have been socialized to never hurt anyone's feelings, always be nice, at all costs. I recommend this book to all of the survivors I work with, as well as using it as a tool for prevention against becoming a target for violence. I have learned FEAR is a gift, and the differences is learning t o sort out what may actually BE a risk, as opposed to fearing some ambigusous "boogyman" jumping out of the bushes. Through my own experiences and research, I find this book as not yor average book....If you even read the first chapter.., and grapsed the concepts, it could be life saving. I wish, someday, that I could say a sincere thank you in person. I will continue to use your work in both prevention, and helping people recover from trauma. Thank You.
Mary Moonen, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Addictions Professional from Bradenton, Florida (West coast of Florida, near Sarasota)

Sandy Schnell
Jun 07, 2013

I just want to say thank you to Mr. DeBecker for writing, The Gift Of Fear. At this moment.... things are very difficult. I am only to chapter 6, where it quotes the Zen Wisdom about knowing the question first. I wrote the simplest questions, why, what, how, and my situation. I answered them. Then I opposite answered them. It brought tears. It was a detail specific picture of an aggressors childhood. I can't NOT thank you. I have the answer that was under the chaos. Bless You.

Morgan Jones
May 22, 2013

For many years I've lived in fear of what danger might at any time come at me unexpectedly. I actually had a wonderful childhood but somehow turned into a weirdo magnet. After a few bad incidents and too much imagination I became dominated by fear. I figure if I could think it then someone has already done it. Then a counselor suggested I read your book "A Gift of Fear". While a few things about it still confuse me the rest of what I've learned has given me my freedom back. I'm happier, sleep better, 10x more productive without the fear of danger constantly in my mind. Thank you so much.

Gloria
Apr 12, 2013

I'm glad to hear Mr. de Becker has written since Protecting the Gift. The first two books were not only compelling and enlightening but empowering! Keep up the good work.

Jim
Feb 25, 2013

I loved reading the Gift of Fear, thank you!

Maria Ferreira
Feb 20, 2013

If it wasn't for a chance encounter with The Gift of Fear when I was 12, I would not be alive today. I grew up in Pretoria, South Africa, and have been living in Johannesburg for the last seven years.
This book is not only an excellent, interesting read, but can also be a life-changing (and saving) guide to every day living.

Thank you.

Cathy Amberson
Feb 07, 2013

I think I put the lessons of "The Gift of Fear" to good use last night. I was in the local bookstore in the back by the magazine rack. The store was empty back there, with most activity taking place up front near the cafe. I was engrossed looking for a particular magazine when I happened to glance behind me to my left. There was a man looking at me and he asked if I had any change or cash to give. Something started going ping in my head, things didn't feel right immediately. Why was he suddenly there, sandwiched between children's books and magazines on knitting with me, alone, with a back exit nearby? (I know this store well) From some LE experience I have I know that many times people will ask something innocuous to distract you. He was probably hoping I'd start rummaging through my purse. I didn't. Something said 'just go' and I headed to the front. On my way out I alerted a female employee and as I was walking back up, there he was again. I think I would have been suspicious anyway prior to reading the book but the book gave me more insight. At any rate, I was on guard and if he had had nefarious intentions he probably realized the gig was up and to pick a different target. Highly recommend this book.

Nan DeVito
Dec 29, 2012

I read " The Gift of Fear" many years ago. I have given copies to others as well. Today, I think that the concepts tt I learned in your book saved my life. I was at the local park with my dog. It is a gloomy day and no one was there. I saw a man park a van and walk toward me with purpose. I immediately removed my gloves and positioned my bear spray. He saw that but continued toward us. I did not let him come close. He immediately started talking with many details about putting his two dogs to sleep the day before. Smiling, he asked where I lived and he tried the forced teaming" let's get this dog walked". He tried to charm me. My dog started growling but tat did not seem to bother him. I told him" You are a stranger. I do not like strangers. Back away because I am going to spray you".
He looked around as if to see if there were other people around. I walked away into the busy street and he was gone. Without reading your book so many gets ago- I might have not been prepared for him. The bear spray is to deter coyotes but it served a if fervent purpose today.

Sarah
Dec 14, 2012

As I'm sure you've heard of the recent Sandy Hook elementary school shooting, what are some protective measures you would advise faculty members, parents, and especially students to take to protect themselves against future shootings?

Vanessa Kay McCarthy
Nov 25, 2012

Many years ago, I read "The Gift of Fear." As I relived my own painful childhood of abuse, and the traumatic events of my young adulthood, I realized that I was a perpetual victim in search of a perpetrator. A few years later, I read "Protecting the Gift" and gained some powerful insights on how to teach my children to protect themselves. It wasn't until someone told me that I was living in domestic violence that I even knew what to call the life I'd led. Perpetual victim, indeed, I married a very smart, very calculating man. Through the Mosaic Method, I started tracking the escalation of the abuse. The day that I ran the assessment, sitting in the public library, and saw that the risk factor had elevated to 9 was the day I realized that I was headed toward being a homicide victim. I was able to escape with my children and we've been on the road to recovery for the past two years. I can not thank you enough for the tools and information you've made available. You've taken the challenges that you did not deserve, and used them to help others survive what otherwise would have killed them. You've given people hope, and sanity in a world where everything seems lost. Thank you, so very much. Thank you for everything that you've done and all that you continue to do. You've made the world a better place than the one in which you were born. Few people can say that. One day, I hope I can give back what you have given to me and my children.

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Gavin de Becker & Associates, L.P.
11684 Ventura Boulevard, Suite 440
Studio City, California 91604

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